Sunday, March 18, 2007

King of the World

What is it about birthdays? I have recently celebrated my 31st one. Justen and I went out to eat then saw COMPANY on Broadway. I don't really recommend it. Wait till it comes on video. Its just not that good. If I feel compelled later on, I will write about why I did not like it. Anyways, back to the lecture at hand....
I would like to start this off by saying that I am so excited to be in my thirties. If your twenties are representative for the quest to find yourself, then the thirties are definitely a time to chill inside said self. All of the pressure that I used to feel to "assimilate" or "be" or "do" is no longer there. I am just as happy on the sofa watching TV as I am at the movies. It's just that chill. Go out to eat, order takeout, cook...these are the questions that plague me daily...now I just go with the flow. If I want pizza, I eat pizza. If I want to fry chicken, I fry chicken. If I want to make brownies, I make brownies. And don't care.
The feeling of "laissez le bon temps rouler" or "laissez-faire" has spilled over into my professional life. Thats not such a good thing. If I go to an audition, I go. If I don't, I don't. I no longer have that little cheerleader Daniel in the back of my head saying "DO IT" "GO THERE", etc. And honestly, I don't miss that twit at all.
That being said, I realize that at some point, I do have to "shit or get off the pot" so to speak. But now I don't feel terribly motivated. And that's okay. I feel like as an actor I am in a weird transitional period between playing the roles that I have played thus far and the roles that I am yet to play. I think I am just gonna coast for a while. And pay my student loans.
So as I wake up today, closer to 40 then I am to 20, I wonder what will this decade hold. I am only one year into it, and I love it. So far. The past few years of my life have been the best ever:

  • meeting Justen
  • getting Naomi
  • backpacking across Europe
  • Moving to New York
  • working as an actor
Time will tell what is to come, but right now I am the "King of the World". Or at least the unemployment line.

1 comment:

Eileen said...

Happy Birthday!
And, if I may, the 30s, as I've experienced it thus far, will kick your ass in a good way. You'll finally feel grown up, you'll finally not be a slave to your former (younger) self; it's the time to finally be who you really are instead of who you needed to be before. Which isn't easy, 'cause sometimes you don't know who you really are. But you'll soon find out. Congrats! :)