ITS A RANT!!!

Sorry that I have to do this, but here goes...these are some things that I am completely tired of. Completely.

1)Stinky Sweaty People with No Deodorant: Last time I checked there were hundreds of bottles of deodorant and anti-perspirant at the store. I am so tired of my entire neighborhood smelling like a sweaty third-world armpit. This is America. We hate body odor. You have it. Get a clue. Can't you tell that people's noses squinch when you are near? If there can be a law that we have to wear seatbelts, then there should be one that we have to wear deodorant. Its a matter of public health.

2) Flip Flops: Women. If you have on a cute outfit, $300 worth of makeup, and cheap shower shoes with black dirty calloused feet that have a french manicure---i hope that you fall into the subway tracks.

3)Hispanic Men: You have got to stop playing with your balls. If they itch, nonchalantly scratch them. Dont walk down the street holding them. We arent going to try to take them. They are not going to escape. The macho act has got to go.

4)Guido Haircut: How many times do you have to be told. You look horrible. No gay man would ever be caught dead with that hairstyle. Take a clue. You look rediculous...and its dangerous to your fellow humans. How long does it take you to make that piece of work? Oh, and dont do it to your kids. They dont know how ugly they look.

5)Panhandlers: no. you may not have a cigarette, a dollar, my coke, my biscuit or anything else. Stop riding the subway after days of pissing yourself. I know that you dont have a home, but even when I am not at my home, I can still manage to remove my clothes before I pee. Even if I have to emergency pee in the alley.

6)Ladies with Babies: Where in the fuck are you going at rush hour? I know it is not to work, because you have triple decker strollers with babies stacked all over the place. I know that you can pick up your welfare AFTER rush hour. Please clear the streets. We need the sidewalks in the morning and in the afternoon. Let us have it. It is all we ask. Get out of the way! Stay home! We're trying to get to work and your shitty-diapered, tit-clinging, milk-breathed infant is in my way. OH dont breast-feed in public. Noone wants to see a drippy tit. Thanks.

7)Young Girls: Please make sure that your shirt covers the rolls of fat that are cascading over the top of your hip-hugging extra-tight jeans. Better yet...stop dressing like that for one month. During that one month, stick your finger down your throat and throw up everything you eat. When you no longer have hair or a period, you may again wear the outfit. Thanks. Anorexia and Bullemia are such great looks. Try it. Oh, ease up on the make-up. You look like a whore. There will be plenty of time to look like a whore when you are trying to fuck your way through high school. Thanks.

Dont hate me because I am honest. I am just trying to help people out. Thanks.

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My New Hobby

I love that I have a new hobby. Hope you enjoy the movie.

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Thanks Google.

Isnt this a hoot. Sometimes I browse the net and see a picture that i think would be fun. Sometimes, like today, i go to google and put something crazy in...like ronald mcdonald arrested. This is what I got.

I guess that the plants in the Burger King corporation finally got their way.

(that was stupid)



Well, I have begun the South Beach Diet. I am trying to get a little slimmed down before bathing suit season, and my 30th birthday. Today is day two, and I had a little bit of Coke. Oh well. cant be perfect.

Naomi was sick last night, and Justen and I got all worried. I think things are fine now, so I wont belabour it.

ok, i cant type much more. I did some push ups, and my arms hurt.

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Stiff Upper Lip!

The above is a photo of a whale spotted swimming in the Thames River in Central London this morning. According to BBC News, the 7 Ton whale has made its way up the Thames to central London where it is being watched by riverside crowds. The whale is a 16-18 foot bottle-nosed whale. This species usually is found in deep sea waters (Arctic and North Atlantic) and lives on a diet of squid and fish.

A commuter on the tube reportedly called in at 8am to say that he may be hallucinating, but he thinks he saw a whale in the Thames. Liz Sandeman, a medic at the Marine Connection, a whale and dolphin protection organization, has said that "The last thing we want to do is stress the animal out." I hate it when scientist types use big words and noone can understand them.

This bottle-nosed whale (whose population is at a lower risk for extinction--they have been protected since the 70's) usually travels in groups of 3-10, but this one arrived alone. No one is really sure why the whale may be in the Thames, but it has been speculated by many that it may be "confused".

The curator of the London Aquarium has said, "Getting that thing to do anything it doesn't want to do is going to be extremely difficult. " I guess it would be.

Authorities in London are watching the whale for the rest of the day to see what it will do. It seems to be having trouble navigating around bridges and such, so scientists seem to think that its sonar isn't functioning properly. They are all hoping that the whale will leave the Thames before the flood-tide receeds, or it may become beached. Efforts could then be made to refloat it using specialist inflatable pontoon equipment that was being sent to the scene and could help direct it back towards the sea. In the meantime, brilliant Londoners merely stand in the water and splash away at it.

This is the same Londoners who were shocked and frightened one day when a seagull dropped a barely dead piranha onto a boat. Everyone was very worried how a piranha could be in London, since the water there is much too cold for it to survive. Thank God that in America piranhas do not fall from the sky.

But I guess the reason is that we are such a God Fearing Country.

Or maybe its because God Fears Our Country.

We just seem to blow up anyone who messes with us. Then go blow up people for blowing up people who mess with them. . . it's a very "Do as I say...not as I do" kind of country, the USA.

Happy Weekend.

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Guilty Pleasures

What is it about Guilty Pleasures that makes us feel so....guilty? I mean in this very me-centric culture, why should we feel bad for doing anything? Haven't the Oprah's of the world taught us that we should do whatever the hell we want to and not justify it to anyone? (Well within reason)

If you know me at all, you know that my stomach is shot. It's just a whole mess down there only inches from my throat. A couple of years ago, I went to the doctor complaining of upset tummy, and after an endoscopy, I learned that I had Barrett's Espohagus. Anyways...I had to give up many things that were staples of my diet.


Tomatoes are such a large part of America's culinary culture. Did you know that they are also extremely acidic? Too acidic for me to eat. Now. Think about this. No Tomatoes = No Ketchup, BBQ Sauce, Pizza, Marinara Sauce, Tomato Sauce, Garden Salad, and the list goes on and on and on. After all those years not liking tomatoes, now I Love them and can't eat them. I think that is what Dante called Divine Comedy.


No this little girl over here has not been playing in dirty diapers. She has merely been eating a little bit of chocolate. MMMMM Chocolate....creamy milky chocolate. I can't have it anymore. Yup, Chocolate is also extremely acidic, and makes the tummy problem worse. So for all of the little children out there, enjoy the chocolate while you can....even play in it like little girl over here. Cause one day you will grow up, and chocolate will make you ill. Perhaps if I, like this child over here, tried to insert the chocolate in my nose and eye, I could still eat it....

No, I'm not done with the chocolate rant. Why? Why does something that is so good have to be bad for you in so many ways. It seems that it should just be fattening, or just cause cavaties...or whatever. It should only have one detrimental outcome. No not dear chocolate...it has to run the gamut. Much like this child runs the gamut. Dirty. Mullet. Wal-Mart t-shirt. She is 7.5 years away from being toothless, pregnant, and owning her very own trailer.

This over here is big-ole deaf Christy from Survivor Amazon. Christy is the first deaf Survivor contestant. God damn. I love survivor. Not only do I watch the new episodes on CBS, but I also TiVo and watch all of the re-runs on OLN. Justen got me into it. This is a wonderful show. Survivor Amazon is currently on. Christy is still not voted off...allthough she may be...i can't remember. Who the fuck cares anyways. She is deaf. Had a full armpit of hair on day 1. And 5 minutes after she was on the island, she was complaining that noone liked her because of her disability. I don't think that is true. People were starting to get to know one another, and just had not made it to her yet. Plus maybe if they did say hello, she never heard it. That was so wrong for so many reasons. I don't dislike deaf people. I love deaf people. I think i even know how to perform the Hail Mary in Sign Language. I also can sign the chorus to We Are The World. I just don't like any person who lets a disability disable them.

Well, mu cousin Lauren, the photographer, is coming to NYC as we speak. She will be here tonight through Sunday and will be taking mine and Justen's headshots. Too bad I just got a haircut and look slightly chemotherapeudic. Oh well. You only live once. Might as well have fucked up hair. Dont have a pic of the hair. But I guess I will after Lauren takes some.

This is the end of the blog for today. Keep on Keepin on.

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Disappointments

dis·ap·point·ment - n.
The act of disappointing.
The condition or feeling of being disappointed.
One that disappoints.

I saw the movie version of RENT this past weekend. Needless to say (because of the title of this post) I was quite disappointed. Before going, I read the reviews online and was hoping that they were a bunch of snotty, stuffy bastards who had nothing better to do than slam this movie. I was wrong. They were right. The movie was lukewarm at best. Let me preface this by saying that I am a HUGE RENT fan. There was a time in my life when I considered myself one of the RENT HEADS. I have seen the show on Broadway, seen many tours, own the soundtrack, and even personally know some of the cast members. I was still disappointed. This story was written for the stage. A very specific stage. The songs are very expository. The lyrics speak for themselves, and the story unfolds in the mind of the audience. It seemed as if the director called up all the original cast members, threw them into the East Village and said, "Do the show!"

After watching the movie, I pondered if the making of this movie was a task that anyone could have done. I like to believe so. I can remember years ago when the buzz was starting that a movie would be made, I was so very excited. This story spoke to me. It had to speak to everyone. What better way for it to speak to everyone than to put it on ever silver screen.

Maybe its my age.

Columbus has directed such box office hits as Home Alone and the first two Harry Potter movies. Why didn't he direct the last 2 Potter movies? I believe that they reason is because of CONTENT. Columbus is very good at directing, dare I say it, children's movies. His lush, indulgent, shallow style is quite beautiful, but empty. And that is how I felt this movie played. Emptily.

Did I care about the characters? Yes. Because of the movie? No. The actors in this film appear to be slightly distant from the world that they are portraying. Is it because the actors are 10 years older and 10 years beyond the material? Perhaps.

The movie Chicago is a great example of what should have happened to this story. That movie LEPT off of the stage and on to the screen. But Chicago isn't the same as RENT....ok, how about TOMMY--thats another rock opera. That movie rocked the screen. It was rediculous, over the top, yet still gripping. The story of RENT is already gripping. I think that the movie could have been.

Unfortunately this movie doesn't speak to a wide audience. Perhaps it just doesn't speak to me anymore. I had hopes that this film would have a mass appeal. Somebody's grandma in the Midwest would go see it and be shaken to her core. I was when I saw it 10 years ago. Why? Because I lived it....or at least thought I did...or at least wished I did.

Now that I have actually been here and seen the gentrification of the lower east side and village and how it is now...and seen neighborhoods that were like it was then, i know i wouldnt have wanted to be there. Maybe thats why the movie made me feel empty.

But I know these characters. I love these characters. I have lived with them for many years..their words and stories echo in scrapbook-like sections of my life.

Has "No Day But Today" lost some of its hold on me? Yeah I think it did a little...yesterday.

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Our DISASTER

Sometimes in life there are disasters. Hurricane Katrina was one such disaster. New Orleans practically wiped off the face of the earth. Large gambling ships in Biloxi blown onto the beach. Sea animals blown into parking lots. These are huge disasters. Era-defining disasters. Then there are other kinds of disasters.
Little teeny tiny disasters that only seem to have their effects felt in the tiniest of microchasms. Take this little dog here to the left, Kate. Kate broke her leg. Did you know about it? No? Why not? Her owner, Michael, felt so sad and destroyed that his dog had an accident that he posted an entire webpage on the internet discusing the dog's accident and chronicling her recovery. You mean you didn't read it? Well, needless to say, neither did I. This disaster (large though it may be to Kate's family and friends) did not affect my life at all.

How about this disaster here to the right? Extremely high gas prices. Staggeringly high gas prices. Did this disaster affect you? Does this image echo in your heart and wallet? Most likely it does. For me, though, this image was just a photo on the web, a blurb on the news, a bitch session from my family. Why? I have no car. I live completely at the mercy of the ever so wonderful New York City mass transit system, MTA. Our loving subway runs on electricity, so gas prices did not affect fares. Our busses and cabs run on gasoline though, yet Mayor Bloomberg would not let fares rise in order to protect his precious economy and tourism revenue. Cab fares are still reasonable. Prices have not risen one penny. Gas prices in New York City never shot up. Now the unthinkably high gas prices that have always been here are about even with the rest of the country. Payback? I think so. All those years of tourists driving here only to scream, kick, spit, and yell when looking at the prices at the Sunoco or the Gaseteria. (Gaseteria is my favorite of the gas stations. One thinks of a toothless woman wearing a hair net dispensing gas and mashed potatoes). Now after all of this dissertation on disasters, I have a disaster of my own to share with everyone.
Just the other day, I awoke, took a shower, got dressed for work like I always do. When I was standing at the bathroom sink brushing my teeth, I happened to look up at the ceiling and noticed that the ceiling appeared to be sagging a little. I stood there in my "before noon" haziness and contemplated if the ceiling always sagged like that and I never noticed it before. Then to test it out, I jumped on top of the toilet and placed my hand on the sag, and it felt like it gave a little. Note that I did not press on the sag. I decided to call the landlord. After telling them that the ceiling appeared to be sagging, and having her ask "what do you mean sagging" and me explaining "Sagging means that it is hanging down a little bit from where it used to hang before." I hung up and went to finish getting dressed before leaving for work. Then I heard it. It sounded like the ceiling fell in. Well, the reason it sounded like that is because that is exactly what happened. The ceiling fell in. Thats the photo over there of what our bathroom looks like now. Note that it is much cleaner now than I found it. When I went to investigate the sound, there was half a ceiling hanging down from the ceiling, and there was gross shit and black mold all over the bathroom. Thank God our toothbrushes have covers on them. After I called the landlord back to tell them that the ceiling indeed had fallen, they came over and speculated that it was because the upstairs neighbors had been using too much water in their bathroom...like washing clothes in the floor or something. That was all they said. They also said later that the ceiling had to be left open for several days to dry out. Meanwhile...there is still debris and black mold falling from the ceiling onto the bathroom floor. Justen and I both have horrible allergies, but most importantly, little Naomi has allergies. And she is so little. That's her over there being all little and stuff. Now, not to sound persnickedy (sp.) or anything, but shouldn't we be given some other answers? Shouldn't we be given some BETTER answers? Shouldn't we be in the Ritz-Carlton now with a view of the park? Okay maybe not a view of the park, but at least a view of the city. Shouldn't we be furious? Well, we are furious. Shouldn't we go upstairs to the Walker's apartment (not their real name..its a pseudonym because they walk constantly all around the apartment..24 hours a day) and beat them senseless. Or at least cave in their ceiling? How can we get catharsis for OUR disaster? When will FEMA arrive to help us? (well its only day 2. They didn't go to New Orleans till day 3) Shouldn't Anderson Cooper be over here crying and interviewing us while CNN presses cameras into the gaping hole in our ceiling through which you can see the upstairs BATHTUB? Shouldn't our landlord at least had the decency to call after the maintenance men left to say "We're working on it" or "You have to let it dry out" or "Did you understand the maintenance men? I know that English is not their first, second or third language." Did any of this happen...NO. Anderson Cooper is not here. FEMA is not here. Our phones have not rang. All we know is what broken Spanish Justen could scrape out of the maintenance men. I guarantee you if the ceiling fell in at THEIR apartment, it would be fixed. I guarantee that the LANDLORD wouldnt have to stay in the apartment with black mold falling from the ceiling. Don't we deserve better than this?

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Diarrhea Donut Shop

I know that this post has a HORRIBLE name, but sometimes its best just to share it with everyone in a way that gets attention. Sometimes on the way to work, or when out leisurely walking along, i get a little hungry and have frequently stopped into THIS bagel shop.

it has to be one of the most popular bagel destinations in the neighborhood, and i see them EVERYWHERE. This one in particular is at Broadway and 35th in Astoria.
The first few times that I ate there, I noticed that every time I would get where I was going, I was having terrible abdominal pains and immediately had to go to the bathroom....DIARRHEA.
Since I am one of those people who have chronic stomach problems, I thought this was mere coincidence. So I decided to break it up a bit. I would eat bagels from other local shops. No problems....then I would go back to this place:

and give it another try. DIARRHEA. So, i have come to a decision. This place should change its name to Diarrhea Donuts. Thats what they serve. Justen even said that after eating one of the bagels from there his tummy felt funny. Maybe he was just sympathizing with me...or maybe it is a conspiracy.
I know how supermodels and lots of other New York types would welcome watery bowels. There is nothing better for the figure than an epidemic.

BUT faithful friends, I need to be able to keep my food down. I work sometimes 16 hours a day! How many hours does Kate work? How many lines does kate snort?
Anyways...the morale of the story is...Diarrhea sucks. errr, blows.

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The HBO Premiere

Oh, I forgot to post the picture of me at teh HBO Premiere for the Tourette's Documentary. Without further ado...here is me and my boss and my $600 suit.



and thats all she wrote.

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Pochahontas

Tonight I spent a lot of time adding photos to my photobucket.
http://photobucket.com/albums/d181/dmeredith2/
Its kinda fun to pore through digital images of yourself and put them up for potentially the entire world to see....potentially.

So, I decided to give a little story from my life.

Justen and I worked together at the outdoor drama, UNTO THESE HILLS in the summer of '03. One evening when we were there, for some reason or another, there was no power. No, the dorms we were in had no air conditioning, so we depended on the fans in our windows to put cool air from the mountain stream outside our window into the room. So when the electricity went out...no dice...

We were stuck. would we stay there all night long sweating and cursing..or would we brave the tourist trap cum historical landmark that is Cherokee, NC and look for suitable accomodation. We braved it. (note use of the word brave. we were playing indians in the drama. ironically, cherokee did not call their young warriors braves. That is just a baseball phenomenon)

It was at about 4am that we stumbled across the pochahontas motel. We had tried many others, but they were too expensive. We just wanted to take a bath, turn on the airconditioning, and go to sleep.

While Justen was taking a bath, I wanted to give him peace and quiet (a luxury we had not yet experienced since being on the hill together) so I went outside armed with my digital camera.



This is what awaited me. The swimming pool that used to be in front of the motel is now a gravel flower bed. It had been raining. The roads were deserted. I dont look the least bit tired.



As can be seen in this photo taken minutes later.

Well, nothing exciting happened. To my left there in the last photo is a Coke Machine (which is no longer there last time I drove by Pochahontas). I bought a soda, took a bath, and Justen and I went to bed with the TV on. We had not had a TV in quite a while either...well one that wasnt playing DVDs.

Gosh I miss living up on top of a mountain. The biggest decision of my day was whether I would go to dance class today...or skip it and have to go the rest of the week.....

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SURVIVOR

Okay, I wanna talk a little about Survivor. It is my guilty pleasure. Not only am I currently hooked on Survivor Guatemala, I am watching all of the re-runs on OLN. Yes. I have seen Survivor Australia, Africa, and now Marquesas. So far, Australia is my favorite. It was a season with all really likable people, and you could tell that they all really liked each other. Which brings me to this survivor. I cant really believe that they sent AMY home. She is a freaking linebacker. I think that they needed the strength a little longer...and she would have been an easy pick off later on. I think that Gary's lying ass should have gone home this time.
I read in Variety that Bobby John and Danni are both really evangelical Christians. Thank God they dont have all that praying in there. In Marquesas it seems like everytime the camera angles change...someone in praying. Give me a break...or give God a break God has better things to do than to make sure you win a million dollars. Hes got Hurricanes to make.
Speaking of hurricanes....
I am starting publicity this week on a book by Time Magazine called,"Hurricane Katrina:The Storm that Changed America". The cover is a shot of the flooded New Orleans area. It is all brown and looks like someone threw up on it. Thing is...there are some really great photos inside that would have made a better cover...there is one on the inside front page of a Mardi Gras Mask that is on te ground and all dirty and messed up. That would have made a better cover.
Anyways, SO back to AMY. I think that she proved to the tribe that she was a good hard worker and stiff competition....maybe they thought she would win too many immunities....but I doubt it with that ankle that kept getting worse. Maybe they voted her off so she could go to the doctor. Who knows. Who cares really. She is voted off. I wonder how far Stephenie will get....looks like Bobby Jon might make the jury after all. Wonder if Lydia will get much farther....

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My first post

Well, here I am on Blogger. I have been on LiveJournal for a while, but I never posted. I probably wont ever post here either. I wanted to start by posting picture of the play that I am doing now.

Yup thats me fingering the squirrel. Fun Times.
So, i think that is about all that I can post tonight. God my life is so interesting.

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